Yesterday I met with some new friends and some old friends at a monthly gathering of parents and kids with different abilities. The old friends knew Dan at his worst.
One of my new friends introduced herself, "Hi! I'm (name), mom to (name)." I answered her, "Hi! I'm Jill, mom to an angel."
She paused a minute, looked at me and then a few minutes later, asked how old my child was. I answered "He would be 6 in December."
She paused again, looked at me again, and then realized what I had said.
I am mom to an angel.
There I've said it. It naturally rolled off my tongue, just as if I said "Hi! I'm Jill, mom to Dan." I didn't cry when I said it. Maybe because of the company I was in - parents who understand special needs. Parents who understand life challenges.
It's not a phase I ever wanted to say. It's not a group I ever wanted to be a part of. But sometimes you just don't have control over your life. If I did, Dan would still be here, healthy.
But I have to accept that he isn't. Accepting it doesn't make it any easier, doesn't make it any better. It's just reality.
I will always be Dan's mom. But I am also, now, mom to an angel.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Posts
We are the Grandparents of an Angel!
ReplyDeleteYou handled it well, a good place to "practice". It was a good day, but I know it must be hard for you to come to these get togethers. If it helps, you know you are helping others navigate some of the same trail you have been on. ((((HUGS))))
ReplyDeleteThat's why I keep coming...to continue to help others. We all have stories and ideas to share, and if we can make the process easier for someone else, that makes it so worth it!
Delete