What happens in your world in early September? For many, it is back to school time. Everyone is sharing the photos of their kids going to school for their first day (or second, or third, or...whenever you have a minute in the crazy morning rush to take a picture).
For me, early September means tears and wanting to curl up in a ball and never come out. Why? Well, you see, I don't really know. I think it is because I never had a chance to take those pictures. Dan never went to school. He never rode a school bus, he never had a lunch box. We didn't have to buy folders and notebooks and tissues and pencils.
For some reason back to school hurts. But that is grief. It hits at a time you don't expect. It hits you in ways you don't understand. There is no logic to it and there is no getting over it.
This is what life handed me, so I have to do my best and adjust. I'm hoping that in a few years (which will still be sooner than I expect), these raw emotions will ease when we start getting Shelby ready for school.
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Oh my dear friend! The only thing I have to offer is that I think of you and your beautiful boy every single day. Members of my family know without asking now who I am referring to when I mention Dan. My 84-year-old mom knows he is the little soldier in the Warrior Garden she has never seen. My daughters and my husband know who "my friend Jill" is. I am sorry for your pain, Jill. I hope that knowing that people who have never met Dan have a special place in their hearts for him. xoxo
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