The line

I saw this quote on the Grief Speaks Facebook page:

"Around our house, we still categorize events as happening "before the boys died" or "after the boys died." Like most families, we had experienced the predictable deaths of older family members. The deaths of parents and grandparents are expected. They are bound to come. They are part of the natural sequence of life. Some people live long. Others not so long. When you bury the people in the generation ahead of you, it is with sadness and resignation. But, when you bury your own children, life is suddenly and terribly out of proper sequence."
~When There are No Words: Finding your way to cope with loss and grief by Charlie Walton


For us there are two "lines" - the day of diagnosis and the day Dan died.  Life before the first line was normal, doing things as a family, laughing and having a good time.  Life between the two lines was full of medications, doctor appointments and managing feeding tubes.  Life after the last line is just different - something is missing.

But just like any other "line" in our life - first apartment, first home, getting married - there is always a before and an after and life is different.  No necessarily good or bad, just different.