A blog about the grief after losing a child to Niemann Pick, Type C, a rare disease, and how I'm moving forward with my life.

Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Quotes on Loss

Over the past year I have found so many quotes on living after loss, especially child loss.  Here are some of the recent ones:

If a child loses both parents, they're Orphaned. If a Person loses their spouse, they're a widow. But is there such a word for a parent who has lost a child?

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People sometimes label parents who have lost a child as "different", "moody", and "overly emotional." Bereaved parents often stop getting invitations out to dinner, etc., because their friends "don't know what to say to them" anymore. How about, "My heart is dying right with yours, and we'd love you to join us for a night out. I'm sure you could use a break from all the heaviness. Let me be here right with you through this pain!" Friends like that are worth more than a million dollars!!!!!



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The moment that you left me, my heart was split in two; one side was filled with memories; the other side died with you. I often lay awake at night when the world is fast asleep; and take a walk down memory lane with tears upon my check. Remembering you is easy, I do it everyday; but missing you is a heartache that never goes away. I hold you tightly within my heart and there you will remain; you see life has gone on without you, but will never be the same.
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As parents, we LOVE to take care of our children. It's not a burden, but rather something that we enjoy doing. When child loss occurs, we feel like such a failure -- like we couldn't properly take care of our child, and that hurts so very, very much. It takes a long time to work through the guilt of child loss....



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"At some point, people will begin to expect you to return to what they perceive to be a normal life. Actually, your life will never be normal again. You will learn to be pleasant, productive, and functional but things will never be the same again because an integral part of what used to be you has been torn away. But....even in the earliest stages of feeling around for your land legs...the familiar moves and thought patterns of work can have remarkable therapeutic value.  Whatever was your life's work before your loved one died can become the work that can save your life in the early weeks and months of grief. Again, you are the only one who knows the right timing for your return to work. You shouldn't make the mistake of going straight from the funeral to the office- the guilt for that ploy will catch up with you later. But neither should you take an indefinite leave of absence on the assumption that you will never be able to function again." ~ Charlie Walton, When There Are No Words: Finding your way to cope with loss and grief

"If there is one method of communication that does work in times of grief, it is the hug. The comfort content of words is hit or miss...but sincere hugs always make clear statements.   When our friends visited our home on the day we learned about the boys' deaths, there were many hugs. A hug finds its own length and level in intensity depending on the relationship you have with the person who approaches. If you have known them long and well..or ..if you know without a word being spoken that they have suffered a deep personal loss in the departure of your loved one...the hug may go on and on. You may deposit tears on each other's shoulders. No words need be uttered for volumes to be communicated." "It seemed to me that every hug helped to dilute the pain a little more...that every sincere hugger carried away a small quantity of the mountain Kay and I were facing." ~ When There Are No Words: Finding your way to cope with loss and grief by Charlie Walton

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You don't get over it,
you just get through it.
You don't get by it, because you can't get around it.
It doesn't 'get better'; it just gets different.
Everyday . . . Grief puts on a new face . . .
~Wendy Feireisen




oaches. If you have known them long and well..or ..if you know without a word being spoken that they have suffered a deep personal loss in the departure of your loved one...the hug may go on and on. You may deposit tears on each other's shoulders. No words need be uttered for volumes to be communicated."
"It seemed to me that every hug helped to dilute the pain a little more...that every sincere hugger carried away a small quantity of the mountain Kay and I were facing."
~ When There Are No Words: Finding your way to cope with loss and grief by Charlie Walton

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