Wow...10 months already.
At 10 months old we were considering putting Dan in day care but the cost was too expensive. I was also thinking about what we were going to do for Halloween. Trick or treating door to door was out of the question since we are in farm country. We wound up going trick or treating in the mall.
But the first 10 months of grief seems to pass way too fast. Faster than the first 10 months of life.
I still get up every morning. I still get dressed and do something with my day. Most days it's going to work - or at least being physically at work.
People ask me - how are you so strong? How do you do it each day? I don't have a choice. I have to work in order to eat and keep a roof over my head.
Yes, I wish life was different. I wish I was thinking about Dan's first week at school or his next Halloween costume. But instead I'm thinking of fundraisers and memorial services.
Losing a parent or a friend or a sibling is difficult. Losing a child just makes you numb. But the world doesn't understand. Maybe, just maybe, the medical community will add the loss of a child to the definition of complicated grief.
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Love the picture, so bright eyed and happy! I wish I had been able to know him before he was so sick. But also feel blessed to have known Dan for a few short months. I do not know what you are going through, but you are in my thoughts and prayers. And I hope you try to remember the good memories, Dan would want that!
ReplyDeleteThis is one of my favorite pictures - a totally unexpected shot! I will never turn down thoughts and prayers.
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