A blog about the grief after losing a child to Niemann Pick, Type C, a rare disease, and how I'm moving forward with my life.

Saturday, March 15, 2014

Mommy Brain

A few weeks ago, my favorite health blogger, Dr. Claire McCarthy wrote a post about Mom Messiness on the Boston Children's Hospital blog.

Huffington Post picked it up about a week later and it has made it's travels around the social media pages.

We all see those moms (and dads) seem to have it all together.  You see them out and about and the kids are all clean, they are dressed nice with hair and makeup.  Based upon that impression and talking to them - they are part of the PTA, bring their kids to sports, make these amazing meals....their house must be spotless.  And we all try to strive to get to that point.

A few weeks before Dr. Claire wrote her blog post, my favorite coupon blogger, I Am THAT Lady, wrote about being Pinterest depressed - seeing all the wonderful creations on Pinterest and knowing that she couldn't live up to the creations.  Lauren (the Lady behind I Am THAT Lady) shows you what it looks like around that perfect shot or the next day.  With 4 kids, it can get a bit messy.  But you know what?  She's a loving mom.

Crystal Paine, in her book Say Goodbye to Survival Mode: 9 Simple Strategies to Stress Less, Sleep More, and Restore Your Passion for Life, relays a story about sitting at a moms get-together where one of the mom's said she had a cleaning lady come over every other week.  She goes on to say that as moms if we aren't doing everything in our house, we see ourselves as failures.

I always considered myself reasonably organized.  Then Dan came along, and for a while I was still reasonably organized.  Then mommy brain took over - putting something down to get back to it later because he needed something and then forgetting what it was I put down or where I put it down.  Amazingly, I still had a general idea where things were.  My hubby would call looking for something and I would say look "here" or "here" and it was usually in one of those places.

Then after he died, I went through a grief period where I just didn't care.

We have a dog and a cat.  Both shed and both are messy eaters, so there is food and shedded hair on the floor at all times.  Even when Dan was alive and walking around, my house wasn't spotless.  Yes, there are times I get frustrated with the "mess" and "clutter" and throw fits about not having time to clean it up, but truthfully, I don't think I could live in a spotless house.

So here is our kitchen table - the way it has looked for a least a few years now.  The stuff may change but right now, I'm happy with my little mess.  Because I am a mom and I have a kid who is more important than having a spotless house.

Disclosure: Some of the links in this post are my referral links. By clicking on these links I may be compensated.


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