Book Review: Say Goodbye to Survival Mode

Ok, here it is....my review.  Over the past few weeks I've been posting about the 7-Day Challenge (which I turned into a 7-Week Challenge).  That was just a small sampling of "the small things" that are included in Crystal Paine's new Say Goodbye to Survival Mode.

 

So what is this book all about?  It is a personal account of how Crystal hit rock bottom by trying to do too much and her path out.  There are so many good points in the book, I want to highlight a few that really hit home to me:

1. "I had more control over my life than I realized.  I could stop the madness.  I could eliminate the chaos.  I could start setting boundaries.  I could start saying no.  Yes, I was the problem.  But I was also the solution."  (pg. 7)
2. Create a personal priorities list (pg. 13)
3. "What works in one season of your life might not work at all in another season." (pg. 15)
4. "Living with purpose means wisely choosing and committing to a few of the best things for the season of life you're in." (pg. 25)
5. "By saying yes to the best means focusing and streamlining your time, energy, and efforts on what matters most at the time." (pg. 25)
6. "No matter your age or aptitude,  you have special talents, abilities and interests - things you love to do, things you do well, and things that make you feel alive." (pg. 28)
7. "Instead of listing out the many things I wanted to get done in a day and trying to squeeze them all in, she told me to start with the time I had to work with - twenty-four hours - and then divvy up my responsibilities and priorities into time blocks that fit that time period." (pg. 35)
8. "Don't forget to leave some margin room.  You'll need this breathing space for when life happens." (pg. 38)
9. "If you want to be more productive, you need to become the master of  your minutes.  Do you have short five-minute windows of time here and there?...Do something productive." (pg. 47)
10. "We only have one life to live.  In order to make the most of it and live intentionally and purposefully, we have to constantly reevaluate our lives. Creating and monitoring short-term and long-term goals is a life-changing way to make sure we are heading in the right direction." (pg. 55)
11. "Goals aren't just dreams, wishful thinking, or lofty ambitions. They must be SMART - specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, and time-bound - blueprints to get you where you want to go." (pg. 57)
12. "Change must come from within. You have to believe you can change. You have to want to change. And you need to have something worth changing for like an inspiring, audacious goal.  The bottom line is if you're not willing to put forth the effort, you're never going to get very far in life." (pg. 88)
13. "Focused intensity is zeroing in on one specific project and giving it your entire concentration and energy for a determined length of time." (pg. 96)
14. "...make sure when you are multi-tasking that you are actually being more productive." (pg. 98)
15. "I think it's important that we have balance and breathing room in our lives - and in our budgets.  If we pack our schedules so full that we never take time to stop and smell the roses, we'll likely end up rushing through life and missing out on some great moments.  We'll also probably be frazzled, stressed, and exhausted much or all of the time." (pg. 126)
16. "...give yourself grace.  Don't beat yourself up over what you're not doing.  Don't compare yourself to other seeming "supermoms". Don't stress over what's undone....Find the humor in every situation that you can.  Surround yourself with positive people and encouraging messages to help build you up." (pg. 140)
17. "Either you control the clutter or the clutter will control you." (pg. 141)
18. "Failing doesn't make you a failure; it makes you human." (pg. 158)
19. "So much of the time, our exhaustion and burnout are the result of not being plugged in.  We think we're capable of handling life without constantly renewing our power supply." (pg. 201)
20. "You are never going to be exactly where you want to be." (pg. 223)

Crystal provides her personal experiences along with practical advice and specific exercises that you can do to help you stop surviving and start living.  

One of my goals for this year is to get organized.  If you have been reading this blog for a bit, you know that I struggle with clutter too.  Reading Crystal's book helped me realize that I can't try to do everything overnight.  I have to take baby steps to get where I want to go.  I need to focus on one thing at a time and start making new habits for the "season" of my life that I am currently in.

But I think the biggest moment for me was realizing that I generally only have 2 hours a day to do anything.  Now you are probably thinking that can't be true, so let me explain.  I am a working mom (with an amazing stay at home dad).  Being a working mom means I am awake around 6am, out the door around 6:30am and not back home until about 6:30pm.  By the time I get my work bag unpacked and repacked, it is closer to 7pm.  I usually take over baby duty then.  I try to get Shelby to bed between 8pm-9pm (and for many months she would go down and sleep 12 hours but now we are having fits staying asleep at night).  In order to be able to get up by 6am, I should be in bed between 10-11pm.  So on a good night, I get from 8pm to 11pm to blog, organize, declutter, shower, spend time with my husband, etc.  On a bad night, I get from 9pm to 10pm.  No wonder why I feel so stressed out over things in the house!

Crystal covers many topics - from feeling like a failure to finances to setting up routines and being charitable. She talks about God, but if you don't believe in a Christian God, it isn't overpowering.  

Want a sample before you buy?  Click here to read the introduction and Chapter One. 

Click here to purchase Say Goodbye to Survival Mode: 9 Simple Strategies to Stress Less, Sleep More, and Restore Your Passion for Life

**I was provided an advance copy of the book for preview purposes.  All opinions are my own.  My Amazon Associate link is included above. I may be compensated if you click on the Amazon link.**

Thumping Thursday Bloghop - Jan 16 - Guest Co-Host

Welcome to the 

Thumping Thursdays Blog Hop!

Click on the badge to grab the code and help grow the HOP!!

By this week, most people have given up on their New Year's Resolutions.  We encourage you to continue on your journey.
Thank you for joining us this week.  It's great to have you link-up.  If you are new, WELCOME!
For previous featured posts, please see the
Thumping Thursdays Blog Hop Pinterest Board.

 

Megan
Follow @EphesiansWife

Jill

April @100lb. Countdown
Follow @100LBC

Suzanne @Baltimore Mom

Rea @Home For 4 Sweet Home

NOW.....on to the hop. 

Karina - Mom In The USA

Please leave a comment if you are a new follower!

Simple Rules:
1. Follow your hostess and co-hostesses.   2. Add the badge somewhere on your blog. Click here to grab the code. 4. Visit at least the two blogs before yours in the link set-up.   Let's spread the word about this blog hop.
5. Share the Hop so others can join us and we can grow! Tweet

 
Have Fun! By linking up to this party, you are giving Mom in the USA permission to share your posts and pictures via social media.  All features will be linked back to the original site. I am glad you have shared your links here and will try to promote as many of your lovely posts as possible each week.

Celebrate Your Success

Say Goodbye to Survival Mode Challenge – Day 7: Celebrate Your Success
You made it! It’s the final day of our Say Goodbye to Survival Mode Challenge! Can you feel the shift taking place in your life? You now know that you don’t need to merely survive. You are well on your way to living with direction and passion every, single day.

The best way to keep up your momentum is to set small benchmarks and a reward system to treat yourself, whether that’s a pedicure, a special dinner, or a new pair of shoes.

If you need an extra motivator on a daily basis, you can reward yourself after you’ve accomplished your most dreaded task for the day. Enjoy a piece of dark chocolate, savor a cup of coffee, or take a bubble bath. A reward will give you something to look forward to when you’re in the midst of doing your hard tasks. It will also give you motivation to accomplish them more quickly. >

Celebrate doesn’t have to throwing a party, though. Self-care is also a form of reward. It’s the daily practices that stack together to give you more joy and fulfillment. So much of the time, our exhaustion and burnout are the result of not being plugged in. We think we’re capable of handling life without constantly renewing our power supplies. It might work out fine so long as life is sailing smoothly. But when the rains of stress, change, sickness, or upheaval come pouring down upon us, we quickly start drowning.

Here’s the deal. We can’t survive the storms of life without regularly taking care of ourselves. It’s too much. Oh, we might be able to hold it together for a little while, slapping on our happy faces and pretending that everything’s okay, but we won’t be able to keep up the facade for long.

Here are a few ways you can reward yourself consistently:

Take Care of Your Health: Make sure that the foods you are putting in your body are nourishing you. It’s worth it to spend a little more at the grocery store to stock your refrigerator with healthful foods you can grab for snacks, such as fresh fruits and veggies. In addition, make sure you are drinking plenty of water, eating plenty of good protein and whole grains and taking a good multi-vitamin.

Enjoy Your Family: If you have young children, remember that they are only little once. Take time to just enjoy your children, to stare into their faces, to soak up their cuddles and smiles and giggles and firsts. Stop and listen to them, talk with them, love on them. Cherish them. And don’t neglect your husband, either. You might not have a lot of energy left at the end of the day, but at least meet him at the door with a kiss and a smile. Ask him how he’s doing. Make time for him.

This stuff is so much more important than a clean house or an organized kitchen. And if you’ve got to choose between cleaning or cuddling, always choose the cuddling. I promise you won’t regret it at the end of your life!

Laugh Often: Learn to laugh instead of cry and things will be much better all round. Find the humor in every situation that you can. Surround yourself with positive people and encouraging messages to help build you up.

Give to Others: A big part of living with intention is to give and do for others. Our lives are not just about us and how we can manage our time, organize our priorities, and live each day with passion and purpose. It’s also about looking for a need and finding a way to fill it. It doesn’t require much effort to find avenues, simple or creative, to help others. Remember, there’s no competition when it comes to giving. What matters most is your heart.

Give what you can, even if it’s a few dollars, an hour, or just a smile! Start by paying attention to the needs in your local community. Who can you help down the block, down the road, or across town? If we each do what we can, collectively, we can make a huge difference in the world as we know it.

If you incorporate some of these tips into your life, you know what will happen? You’ll ultimately see an increase in your energy stores. You’ll feel better. You’ll feel more alive. You might even find a spring in your step that you never thought you had. You’ll have more passion for life, and this will allow you to devote time and energy to what matters most versus spending most of your days just trying to make it through the day.


Today's Challenge
Jot down some things you love to do. Instead of thinking of your to-do lists, goals, and routines, clear your mind for 10 or 15 minutes and focus on the activities you enjoy. It can be anything such as reading a good book, volunteering, getting a massage, spending time with close friends, cooking gourmet meals, writing poetry, running, dancing, painting, or scrapbooking. Think of things that excite you and make you feel alive, refreshed, and energized. Write them down. Then review your list and circle one item you can (and will!) do today to celebrate the completion of this challenge.



You can sign up for the Challenge at the link in the picture.

***********************

Ok, so I'm working on this Challenge, just like I told you I would.  But I am modifying it a bit. I'm going to work on an item a week, instead of an item a day.


This is a big challenge for me.  Ever since Dan died, the clutter has taken over to the point that I just want to through out everything!!  But my dear hubby has been patient with me and slowly piling the clutter so I can get through it.  But every time I try to get started on a pile of clutter, we have to go somewhere or do something else, so the clutter sits.  Let's see what I can get done this week.


Here is Day 1 (or Week 1).

Here is Day 2 (or Week 2) with my results from Day 1.

Here is Day 3 (or Week 3) with my results from Day 2.

Here is Day 4 (or Week 4) with my results from Day 3.

Here is Day 5 (or Week 5) with my results from Day 4.  I continued this day/week for an extra week due to the holidays.

Here is Day 6 (or Week 6) with my results from Day 5.


Results: 
I'm still making my lists from Day 1. I don't feel I'm accomplishing as much now, the same items are still on the lists.  But then again, showering is important.  Slowly the to-do list is getting longer.  I need to really limit it to 4-5 items.

I still have my list from Day 2, and look at it but I haven't added anything to it.

I'm generally sticking to my Sunday-Thursday evening routine that I created in Day 3.  There have been a couple of days where it hasn't gone great, but it takes a few weeks to make a new habit.  I'm doing fairly well with this now.

My prioritized list of things from Day 4? I always have that, and it changes day by day.   I'm lucky I remember my name the last few weeks, and finding even 2 minutes to tackle something on the list...well, that's been tricky too.  So, I will make this a renewed effort over the rest of the 7 day challenge to work on this one a bit more.  I've tried adding this to my to-do list from Day 1 to make sure I get done the items I need to get done.

Day 5 - tackling the clutter in one small area at a time.  I'm actually making progress with this now that I have identified the time blocks that I have available to do things.  There are just so many small areas that I need to tackle.

I have holding myself accountable down pretty well.  Every Monday I post a "5 for Five" post which is a link up with other blogs where we post 5 goals we want to accomplish that week.  We report on our success (or failure) the next week.

As far as today - time to start that list and try to do one thing every day "for me".  When I post my review of the book this weekend I will let you know how I am doing with this daily challenge.


Crystal's book will be released on January 21.  You can pre-order it here and get some awesome freebies!!!  You can also check in with Crystal at www.moneysavingmom.com to see how she is doing with her own 7-Day Challenge!!

5 for Five - Jan 13

So what is 5 For Five? In the short form, it is 5 goals you want to achieve this week. Next week, I will report on my success (or failure). Jenn does a better job of explaining it here.

Here were the goals from before Christmas:
1. Tackle some of Crystal's 7-Day Challenge!  I only have one more day to blog about and I am really thinking about these daily challenges and how to implement them.
2. Re-read the preview version of her book and start implementing the ideas. I will be posting a review of the book by the end of the week with a link to pre-order the book and get over $125 of freebies!
3. Read some newspapers. Nope, didn't happen this week.
4. Enjoy watching Shelby explore her world. Oh yes! From doing pushups to holding a bottle and making faces while trying new foods....I'm enjoying all these little minutes.
5. Do some NNPDF work. Had several conference calls and multiple emails.  This is the busy part of the year, so the next few weeks will have this item on it.  It is a guaranteed item to do, so I know I will at least get one item done each week.

Ok, so I definitely did 2 items, and although I don't have anything to show for 2 more, I will call them a partial success.

So what are my goals for this week???
1. Start organizing the tax documents.
2. Finish putting the Christmas stuff away.  Yes, some of it is still out, but we took it out just a few days before Christmas.
3.Implement some of the Say Goodbye to Survival Mode ideas.
4. Enjoy watching Shelby explore her world.
5. Do some NNPDF work.

Ok, who is with me?  Let's start off the year with some goals and keep each other on track to a better year!

Is this art?

I took a Mom's Night Out last night and went to one of the local "paint and sip" art studios where you have a few drinks and they walk you through how to create the painting chosen for the session. 

So this was the painting chosen: a cupcake.  I picked this session because it seemed to be an easy picture and I thought I could put it in Shelby's room.

Here was the easel that was set up near the front of the room.

This is how you start the night - a blank canvas and two paper plates.  One plate had paint on it and the other was a plain plate so you could mix colors.

Step 1 was to create a light blue and paint the entire canvas.  You could make darker area if you wanted an a shadow spot that would be at the bottom of the cupcake.

Step 2 was to create the wrapper.

Step 3 was to create the frosting and sprinkles.

So how did I do?  I think it came out pretty good.

Thumping Thursday Bloghop - Jan 9 - Guest Co-Host

Welcome to the 

Thumping Thursdays Blog Hop!

Click on the badge to grab the code and help grow the HOP!!

How is 2014 treating you so far?  Are you succeeding at your New Year's Resolutions?
Thank you for joining us this week.  It's great to have you link-up.  If you are new, WELCOME!
For previous featured posts, please see the
Thumping Thursdays Blog Hop Pinterest Board.

 

Megan
Follow @EphesiansWife

Jill

April @100lb. Countdown
Follow @100LBC

Suzanne @Baltimore Mom

Rea @Home For 4 Sweet Home

NOW.....on to the hop. 

Karina - Mom In The USA

Please leave a comment if you are a new follower!

Simple Rules:
1. Follow your hostess and co-hostesses.   2. Add the badge somewhere on your blog. Click here to grab the code. 4. Visit at least the two blogs before yours in the link set-up.   Let's spread the word about this blog hop.
5. Share the Hop so others can join us and we can grow!
Tweet

 
Have Fun! By linking up to this party, you are giving Mom in the USA permission to share your posts and pictures via social media.  All features will be linked back to the original site. I am glad you have shared your links here and will try to promote as many of your lovely posts as possible each week.

Hold Yourself Accountable

Say Goodbye to Survival Mode Challenge – Day 6: Hold Yourself Accountable

The key to living a life on purpose is learning how to move forward even when distractions, life-changing events and setbacks occur on your journey.

 

Feeling stuck is hard. It’s amazing how much weight it can carry and how powerful it can seem when you don’t feel like you’re getting anywhere and every time you turn around, another curveball is thrown your way. Giving up on the desires and goals you have created to start living intentionally can be tempting, especially if so much time has passed and you haven’t seen the results you want.

It seems you’ll never be able to get unstuck. When you struggle for a long time and are barely getting by, it can be easy to call off the whole thing and forget about your dreams, goals, and desires, or making any improvements in your life.

While most of us probably will never compete in the Olympics, if you want to live on purpose, you’ll have to have the mind-set of an Olympian. You’ll have to make sacrifices. Get up earlier. Give up late-night dinners. Drive an older model car. Say no to that piece of chocolate cake. Study instead of seeing that movie. Invest time in your family instead of filling your social calendar with parties. That’s okay. In the long run, those sacrifices and your counter-cultural living choices will pay off with big dividends.

 

Keeping those long-term benefits in mind will help you get through the temporary discomforts. 

Maybe you just want to enjoy your life instead of running ragged, feeling lost without any direction, and struggling to find meaning in the middle of busy and crazy schedules.

 

You have to be willing to cut back, give up things, spend your time differently, and say no more often. You may even risk hearing negative comments from others. How willing you are to make changes is directly dependent upon how motivated you are to get where you want to go. What simple, short-term sacrifices can you make to help you get to where you want to be or achieve what you hope to accomplish? 

You might be thinking, “I wish I had an accountability partner, but I don’t know where to find one.” Well, it might not be as hard as you think. Anyone can be your accountability partner—your husband, parent, sibling, friend, or neighbor. Start with your local friends and family and find someone who is encouraging, committed, and not afraid to tell you the truth if you’re getting behind or off-track. He or she needs to be willing and able to take you to task if you’re not following through with the goals you’ve set. At the same time, you want someone who will give you grace and understanding when you’ve set the bar too high or when unexpected situations outside your control come up. And don’t forget to choose someone who will gladly celebrate your milestones along the way! 

 Today’s Challenge

Find an accountability partner. You can’t live a purposeful life on your own. Find a friend who is willing to keep you on task. Contact them by email or phone today and present your proposal. If they accept, schedule a start date for regular check-ins, whether online, in person, or over the phone. Share ideas on how to practically engage in an accountability relationship.

 

No more excuses! It’s time to hold yourself accountable!

You can sign up for the Challenge at the link in the picture.

***********************

Ok, so I'm working on this Challenge, just like I told you I would.  But I am modifying it a bit. I'm going to work on an item a week, instead of an item a day.


This is a big challenge for me.  Ever since Dan died, the clutter has taken over to the point that I just want to through out everything!!  But my dear hubby has been patient with me and slowly piling the clutter so I can get through it.  But every time I try to get started on a pile of clutter, we have to go somewhere or do something else, so the clutter sits.  Let's see what I can get done this week.


Here is Day 1 (or Week 1).

Here is Day 2 (or Week 2) with my results from Day 1.

Here is Day 3 (or Week 3) with my results from Day 2.

Here is Day 4 (or Week 4) with my results from Day 3.

Here is Day 5 (or Week 5) with my results from Day 4.  I continued this day/week for an extra week due to the holidays.


Results: 
I'm still making my lists from Day 1. I don't feel I'm accomplishing as much now, the same items are still on the lists.  But then again, showering is important.  Slowly the to-do list is getting longer.  I need to really limit it to 4-5 items.

I still have my list from Day 2, and look at it but I haven't added anything to it.

I'm generally sticking to my Sunday-Thursday evening routine that I created in Day 3.  There have been a couple of days where it hasn't gone great, but it takes a few weeks to make a new habit.  I'm doing fairly well with this now.

My prioritized list of things from Day 4? I always have that, and it changes day by day.   I'm lucky I remember my name the last few weeks, and finding even 2 minutes to tackle something on the list...well, that's been tricky too.  So, I will make this a renewed effort over the rest of the 7 day challenge to work on this one a bit more.  I've tried adding this to my to-do list from Day 1 to make sure I get done the items I need to get done.

Ok, Day 5.  Well I didn't do as well as I wanted to, even extending it an extra week.  I have tackled a few *small* areas, but not as much as I wanted to do.  I think I am putting too much on my plate.  So I'm going to try to do this 1-2 times a week, not once a day.

Come back next week to see how I did on Day 6.  Crystal's book will be released on January 21.  You can pre-order it here and get some awesome freebies!!!  You can also check in with Crystal at www.moneysavingmom.com to see how she is doing with her own 7-Day Challenge!!