A blog about the grief after losing a child to Niemann Pick, Type C, a rare disease, and how I'm moving forward with my life.

Monday, December 3, 2012

Who Am I?


The exact post listing all those connected is here.

I saw several posts on my blogs linking back to this Women Connect "blog hop".  I'm glad I clicked through the link, because the "hop" is closing at the end of the day.

So what is this link about?  It's simple - connecting women to other women.

So who am I?

The simple things (in order): woman, wife, step-mom, mom, working mom, mother to an angel.  But what does that mean?

Well, I grew up in a suburb of a big city.  I was a good student and went off to a small Catholic college.  I then moved out and started living on my own, started working full time and going back to school part time.  I guess it was then that I realized I was turning into a woman.

Five years later I met my soon-to-be-husband.  We had a wild year of moving into a house, learning to live together, and becoming an instant family.  That is the wife and step-mom portion of my life.  I have two wonderful step-sons.  I think both of them like me.  I told both of them from day one, that I would never be their mom, but I would be willing to listen to them and talk with them about anything.  At different points, both of them have talked with me about lots of different subjects.  They still come around.

Five years after my hubby and I met, I became a mom.  (I'm starting to notice a trend here....)  My darling baby boy is the reason for this blog.  But I will get to that in a minute.  I loved being home with my baby for several months.  Then I turned into a working mom, since I had the better job and great health benefits which we really needed.  Over the next five years, I was a mom and a working mom.  There were times I felt I was more of a mom and times I felt I was more of a working mom.  But becoming a full-time mom was not an option.  My son needed health benefits.  

During the five years he was on this earth, he had a significant amount of medical tests - lots and lots of blood work, lots and lots of ultrasounds, several hearing tests, MRIs, emergency room visits, surgeries.....  It took 4 1/2 years to find out what was wrong.

Almost five years later my son became an angel.  So my gained my latest "title" - mom to an angel.  Let me put this simply - parents are NOT supposed to bury their kids!  I will never lose any of these titles.

So much of this past year has been spent re-evaluating me.  What do I want to do, what do I want to be?  Do I want to work, do I want to write, do I want to travel??  And if I don't work, where will I find funds to do the other two?  Part of this re-evaluation period included starting this blog.  It started as an outlet to just put random thoughts and feelings.  Then I decided to create a blog post a day in October to promote more awareness of Niemann-Pick Disease, the disease that took my son's life.  I got bitten by the blogging bug and have been writing ever since.  

So there is a little bit about me...I really don't know who I am at the moment  :-)


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